|Good fat/bad fat - spot the difference|
I was feeling smug. Up until she was four years old whenever Zoe saw a McDonalds sign she would point and say, "Look, there's a 'M' for 'Mummy'!"
Now they have a Maccy D every Thursday but that's only because we have to fit superfast food into a night of French lesson/samba lesson/violin lesson/piano lesson/orchestra.
I like to think that my children eat a healthy and varied diet. They've eaten jellyfish and chicken feet at Glamorous, our favourite Manchester Chinese restaurant. They've plucked and eaten all manner of game - goose, duck, partridge, woodcock - which we regularly find hanging on our gate, courtesy of the local man-with-a-gun. Zoe even managed to try a stir-fry made with the hare-that-looked-like-a-dog (it was so bloody big we thought it was an Alsatian when we found it hanging. Even I had been freaked out).
Anyhow, I knew that if the 'Healthy Living' lady had questioned Zoe and Joe about their diet, she may have guessed that their mother had been a chef.
"She held up a jar of fat like the one you have, mum, and asked if anyone could tell her what it was" said Zoe. I knew what was coming. I have a fat jar which lives on the kitchen windowsill. It gets a daily top-up with the fat I drain from roast meats, sausages etc. I look at my fat jar and proudly think, "That's the fat I have saved my family from eating this month."
"I told her, 'My mum has a fat jar like that. It's goose fat for roasting the potatoes'."
Noooooo!! "Zoe, it's the fat I drain from the meat which I then throw away! The goose fat is kept in a jug in the fridge."
Zoe, confused asked, "So what's the difference?"
"About thirty quid for a start."
I am awaiting the call from Social Services and trying to think up a good explanation of the difference between the fat in the jar and the fat in the jug. I don't think that telling them, "We are connoisseurs, we know the difference." will somehow cut the mustard.